Responding to His tug

Hey all,

My house group from church served at the local Shelter House tonight. I wasn't going to be able to stay the whole time (I had astronomy lab), so I planned to just bring watermelon and take off. When I went inside, it was a little cramped (as is typical) and there were (obviously) a lot of people (who I didn't know) waiting to eat, which resulted in me feeling uncomfortable. I don't think this was atypical...

So, as I left, I felt a little bad for not staying. Well, I felt more bad that I didn't want to stay. The discomfort led me to wanting to spend my hour til lab in the coffee shop down the street, reading. Again, I would say this seems pretty typical... but it got me started thinking about my motives in service and in how I live my life for Christ...

I began questioning if I was looking down on the people waiting in line for the free meal that we brought. I was also wondering what they were thinking about me - that I was able to bring them a $4 watermelon, drove there in my fairly new car, have my own apartment, etc. But what really makes us different? money? circumstances? How different are we really? as humans? probably not as different as I tend to assume...

So, I left hurriedly and felt bad, thinking they weren't worth getting to know, weren't worth more than a few watermelon slices... My idea of serving others as evidenced by tonight was dropping off some food for someone and I say "I did my part," "they'll appreciate that..." BUT is that enough? Is that what God calls us to? I feel that He's calling me to more through this situation... What does it mean that I was unreceptive of His tug at my heart and that I darted out of there and avoided the opportunity to spend time with real people?

I spend much of my spiritual development time alone, reading, praying, journaling... But what about spending time with others? Yes, I do take part in a prayer group, a house group, fellowship with other Christians. But what about time with others? Non-Christians? Or simply those I don't know (Christian or non-Christian)? God's people? Am I putting others above myself (as He tells us in Philippians 2:1-11 and Romans 12:3)?

Philippians 2:3-4
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Romans 12:3
For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.

Instead of beating myself up, though, I will take my broken and sinful self to the feet of the cross and ask Jesus for strength and healing - to accept myself for where I am and ask Him to continue to transform my will and desires. I will be receptive to His tug.

Where is God tugging at your heart today? How will you respond. You don't have to be perfect now, but consider responding to His tug - however that looks for you.

Have a great night!
Katie